How to Fire People and Have Them Thank You.

Jun 19

I’ve hired hundreds of people.
I’ve also let a lot go.

At first, it was awful.
Sometimes they cried.
Sometimes I cried.
One time, I’m convinced the office plant wilted from secondhand stress.

But over time — with experience, prayer, and deep breathing — I got better.
Now? It’s one of the things I do best. (And no, that doesn’t make me heartless.)

Because here’s the truth:
Letting someone go will never be easy.
But it doesn’t have to be messy.

The most common mistakes leaders make?

Too vague
Too cold
Too late (by then, your team culture is already rotting)

Great leaders know:

The way you let someone go says everything about your leadership.
It can leave someone bitter — or better.
It can break your team — or build deeper trust.

When done well, people may not walk away happy...
But they’ll walk away grateful.

So how do you fire someone and earn their respect?

Let’s break it down.

1. Be clear before it happens.
No one should be blindsided. If you haven’t had at least one honest (and hard) conversation before the exit, you didn’t lead.

2. Own the decision.
Don’t blame HR. Don’t blame “policy.”
Say it plainly: “I’ve made a decision.”
That alone builds more trust than any handbook ever will.

3. Lead with respect.
It always feels personal — even when it’s not.

Be kind. Be clear. Be human.

4. Acknowledge their contribution.
Even if it didn’t work out, they showed up and gave effort. Say that.
Lazy leaders pretend it was all bad. Great leaders don’t.

5. Support the exit.
Offer a reference. A resume review. A softer landing.
It costs little — and returns tenfold in culture.

6. Guide your team.
People are watching.
Say what happened, protect privacy, and move forward with clarity.
Gossip kills trust. Transparency builds it.